5 Signs You’re Dating Someone Who’s Emotionally Unavailable
Because good and healthy relationships are built on transparency, honesty, mutual respect, and trust, emotionally unavailable people can be difficult to recognize and deal with; what’s more, we often miss them early on. People will frequently try to rationalize a partner’s actions in a relationship, making excuses for them and having much too much optimism that if we just give them time, they would change. Patience and understanding are vital, but not when dealing with someone who will never be able to emotionally respond. The inability to establish emotional attachments in a relationship is referred to as emotional unavailability. It can take the form of detachment, indifference, or a lack of commitment.
If you’re concerned that your partner may fall into this category, these eight important symptoms might help you determine whether they’re emotionally unavailable.
They don’t Talk to You
One of the most prominent indicators that someone is emotionally unavailable is that they do not share or demonstrate their true feelings around you. And, no matter how much you push them to open up and express themselves, they never let their guard down around you to say what’s really on their mind. For example, instead of confiding in you and discussing a difficult day at work or a disappointing night out with friends, they opt to keep their emotions bottled up inside and not convey to you what they’re thinking. And if your partner is this complicated and difficult to read, it’s not difficult to realize that there may be a problem with emotional availability and detachment.
They are not at ease with your feelings.
When you share your feelings, an emotionally unavailable person is not receptive or supportive. If your spouse seems uncomfortable, put off, frustrated, or withdrawn when you choose to open up and be vulnerable, it’s a sign that they’re not adept at dealing with emotions, both their own and yours. You and your partner should provide an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a helping hand in a deep, meaningful, and long-lasting relationship, but if your lover isn’t willing or able to be there for you when you need them the most, this is a symptom that you’re with someone emotionally unavailable.
You know nothing about their past.
This type of individual is also rarely open, honest, and forthright with you about their personal history. And, while they are not required to discuss every aspect of their relationship history and life experience, it is vital to remember that having a strong relationship means that you and your spouse openly share and get to know one other on a deeper level. However, if they prefer to withhold critical elements of their past from you, this can be an indication that they are emotionally shut off since they refuse to tell you more about their lives. When someone decides to be a closed book. Furthermore, if they don’t open up and you discover they’ve never been in a serious or committed relationship, consider this a red flag. According to professional couples therapist Brooke Sprowl, this combination could signal that they are afraid of intimacy. Find out how your partner feels by communicating with them. Efficient communication will assist you to avoid spending your time on someone who does not share your goals.
They frequently use sarcasm.
Have you ever noticed how they dismiss everything with a joke or a caustic remark? An emotionally unavailable person makes things into a joke rather than expressing anger, fear, sadness, or disappointment to avoid dealing with raw feelings and to appear strong and undisturbed in your eyes. “Making a joke or urging a partner not to feel emotional about a topic is a common method for the emotionally unavailable to try to dominate the conversation,” explains certified psychotherapist Sherry Gaba. For example, even if your spouse is unhappy and saddened because they were passed over for a promotion, they’ll make it into a joke and laugh it off in front of you to avoid having to process, deal with, and talk about what they’re feeling on the inside. When they use sarcasm as a defensive mechanism and choose humor over honesty, it’s evident that they’re emotionally estranged from you.
They are reluctant to commit to you.
An emotionally unavailable person is unlikely to fully commit to you and be devoted to you. This type of individual will frequently choose to keep things informal and ambiguous to avoid dealing with the emotional aspects of a long-term relationship. Emotionally unavailable people will frequently hop from fling to fling since they do not have to invest more than they are willing or comfortable with. If you want to take your relationship to the next level with someone but they prefer to stay unattached, friends with benefits, or leave their options open, this can be an indication that they are emotionally unavailable.