Possessiveness is a normal emotion to a certain extent. We all like to feel special and significant to other people in our lives, but if you begin feeling like your possessiveness is getting extreme you might society and people to take certain action to change this. A possessive buddy often expresses dullness and may seek to control what the other human does. If you think you often try to grab attention, get annoyed when your pal spends time with others, or if you feel insecure in the friendship shell, then it may be a hint that you want to take a step back and consider what is at the root cause of the problem.
Analyze your behavior.
Look for the root cause of the issue by reviewing instances in which you felt possessively about your friendship. Try to make awesome connections between the circumstances to see if you can discover some kind of common ground that probably be acting as a trigger for your possessive manner.
· Consider ways you probably ignore these triggers and try to move forward.
· For example, you might explore that most of your possessive emotions arise when you are hanging out in a group of three as you often feel excluded when there are only two other buds. If this is the case, you must just try to ignore hanging out in threes. Try to organize one-on-one hangout events or time for a huge group of people.
Talk about your feelings.
Try to explain your possessive manner to your pal. Talk to your buddy in an open manner and tell them about your inner emotions. If they identify what you mean, they might very well try to spend more time with you and support you to feel reassured of their support for you. It might be possible for you people to work through it together. Try saying something like, “I have really been struggling with emotions of possessiveness about our friendship. I think it may be related to how I felt about my father when I was younger, but I understand that it’s not a healthy manner for me to interact with you. I am trying to work on this and I would really love it if we could get through this together as buds.
Let go of your past.
Think about any past incident you probably have had relating to losing the best pal. Realize that it was just one-time stuff and that this experience manner cannot be generalized. Remember that each human is different and each friendship is different. Let the past go as you cannot change what had occurred. Concentrate on the present friendship and forget the past. Realize that this pal didn’t do this matter in your past and, therefore, must not be punished for it.
Give your friend space.
Exhibiting a possessive manner will might not do anything to make your friendship closer. If you feel like you are acting possessively towards your pal, you must back off and offer them some space. Let your buddy make their own plans and don’t be so obsessed with being involved. Try letting your buddy call you first or wait for them to make plans with you. Some humans need more space than others, so you probably be crowding the friendship without realizing it.
Learn to live your own life.
Develop your own life outside of the buddy you feel possessive over. Evaluate what your likes and dislikes are and become involved with activities or other worthwhile pursuits. Concentrate on your own daily tasks at work and home, and create a social life that doesn’t always depend upon your buddy. The more time you spend on yourself and creating your own unique identity, the more interesting you will become to others and your buddy. While it is pretty nice for you to have an awesome relationship with your bud and to spend time with her, it is also good to spend time apart. The possessive manner will be perceived as increasingly overbearing as they continue and will end up pushing your buddy away. Learn to faith your friend and realize she is choosing to be in a friendship with you. Permit her to have other friendships outside of your shell.
Wait for humans to come to you.
Fun and inspiring lead to you are an interesting person in your own right and humans will be attracted to you, especially if they don’t feel like you are craved for their attention. People don’t generally like the emotional pressure of a possessive friendship, so let someone else do the work of worrying for a change. Wait for other humans to initiate contact with you on occasion and see what occurs. You probably be surprised.
Don’t try to change your pal to meet your requirements.
A huge part of the possessive manner is the need to feel in control. Do you often ask yourself where your bud was when she wasn’t with you, whom she talk with, and the content of every discussion she had when she was not with you? Do you see yourself beginning to dread her potential to make personal decisions about matters without your influence? Having interest and concerns in your friend’s life is pretty normal to a point, but trying to control their every move is not. Realize that the only human you will be able to change in your life pond is yourself. Let go of the underlying stress you may feel if you are not in control. It does not matter how awesome your intentions are, if your pal feels suffocated by your interventions in their life journey your controlling manner is already disturbing the relationship. Let go of your need to control, and you will see good improvements in your life and relationships.
Unplug from social media and technology.
It can be all too easier to keep up with humans today – mostly because of modern technological advances in social media-connected fields. Take action to eliminate the temptation to internet creep from your life cycle. Try hiding them from your social media accounts if you just can’t support yourself. Or you could even take a break from social media in general for a while to see how that makes you feel.
Seek outside help.
If you are having trouble controlling your possessive manner, it probably is time for you to get some professional support. Going to a therapist or counselor could be quite beneficial for you in this circumstance. They can assist you to figure out the underlying causes of your possessive emotions. A professional could also support you understand how to cope with these emotions in the future. Talking to a counselor who is not invested in the situation probably helps you see it in a new light as well. This could support you realize how your possessive manner is affecting your relationship and what you might be able to do to refine the situation.
Build your life.
Put yourself into numerous activities and get yourself busy. In this manner, you have less time to think about what your buddy is up to and you’ll also be making your lifestyle more interesting to others so you can attract more buddies in the future. Start playing an instrument, begin going to meditation class, and start doing anything that is great for you and will support you move forward from this point. Work on becoming a better-rounded human by investing in various activities and experiences. Don’t rely on one human to make you feel awesome about yourself.
Get to know your friend’s friend circles.
Be social, active and network in your buds’ circles so that you probably be able to spend more time with them. Do not spy around; instead, respect your pal’s space and give a lot of faith to your friendship. Ultimately, this respectful hands-off method will work out for your own good. If you become a buddy with more of their other friends, you’re bound to spend more time with your pal by default. However, this could be seen as another possessive manner if you’re not careful.
Expand your own social circles.
Part of the reason you feel so possessive of your pal is probably that you have been limiting yourself to that one buddy for a while. If you have other buds that you hang out with and invest in, you won’t require so much emotional support from that one pal. Spread your needs out over a group of friends. Try meeting new humans (at places like school, college, or in your neighborhood) as well as cultivating friendships with humans you already identify with casually.
Distract yourself.
Feelings of possessiveness tend to get worse when we just sit and concentrate on them. As long as you permit yourself to obsess over this one pal, you will not get over it. Motivational blogs and try distracting yourself with anything possible to get your head off of it. You could even enlist the help of another buddy if you faith them enough not to tell other people about it. Try reading a novel, watching a NETFLIX series, going for a walk, calling a buddy, talking to your father, or even developing something pretty creative. Possessive behaviour can be a hint that you don’t feel “great enough.” Work on increasing your self-esteem by setting tiny, achievable aims for yourself, and give yourself praise when you get them to the University of Life. Make certain that you’re doing stuff that you faith will be good for you and not goals that you think you “must” do.